Relationship advice you need to hear

See what we need to recognize is that the things that we truly want, the things that are deeply meaningful. The things that are genuinely fulfilling all require patience. They all require work. They all require energy. See, the challenge is we all want to be with someone who makes us happy when what we need to do is be someone who makes us happy. We sit with our friends discussing the rules but no one even knows what game we're trying to play. Because the problem with our generation not wanting the relationships is that at the end of the day we actually do.

Make sure that you take time to press pause and recess and to engage with a conversation together. So often so many of our anxieties are actually built on assumptions or misconceptions which can easily be resolved through a simple conversation as early as you can.

The biggest mistake we make is avoidance, we feel something but say nothing, smile and drink the poison at least until that becomes annoying. We tend to avoid these conversations because we are conscious of the risk of speaking up but unconscious of the risk of not speaking up. None of us should stay in relationships where we're fighting all the time but we can learn to change how we fight. Soften your judgement. Speak how you'd like to be spoken to. Affirm before you complain. Let your partner know you care. Approach the situation with compassion. Start with empathy. Focus on facts. Initiate the dialogue. Stay open minded. And remember, when you're fighting the real fight is both of you against the problem. Not both of you against each other.

The biggest challenge we have is that we show love to the one that we want. If you're a gifts person you give more gifts. If you believe in quality time, you give quality time. What we need to focus on is what the other person wants and not what we want. So, think about the person that you love or want to show more love to. Figure out which language they belong to and try some of these out. Experiment with them and show them more love, appreciation and encouragement. I guarantee you it will increase and strengthen your bond almost immediately. And remember this isn't a technique or a trick. This is a genuine conveyance of your love and what you feel about them. So, give it a go.

 We live in a world where people aren't self-loved and self-fueled enough to even consider this. The first is getting over your greed and ego. The second one is recognizing that you have value and when you serve others there's a value exchange. And the third, when you're feeling full and overflowing you can then overflow to others.